Are you cheating time?

I think it is really cruel what time can do to you.  To your skin, to your hair and your body.  I have been unfortunate enough to have started going grey.  I discovered my first grey hairs when I was 23.  I have been progressively getting greyer since then, a little more after the birth of each of my children and even more after my separation and on going divorce.  So what to do?  Do I cover it or grow old gracefully?  It's not like I even look the ripe old age of 34! I am always getting asked for ID when buying alcohol. (They have to think 25 here in the UK which means they think I am younger than that! Sweet!)  So I made the decision, after some gentle persuasion by friends and family, to cover up the little silver soldiers that are planning a total take over on my head! The formation of the silver strands are much akin to Lily from the "Munster's" (if you are old enough to know who I mean and if not.......!!!!)

I don't know if I made the right decision as I will have to keep touching up the regrowth, and that sounds like more work in my busy life.  I love that I am a low maintenance woman, and the thought of the extra grooming makes me feel lazy!  Anyway, it's done now.

A few days later and I am still adjusting to the difference it makes, I think I miss them, the grey hairs that is.....is that weird?  I guess I am missing my old routine.  I have a a little job now 4 days a week and I miss the comfort of my living room! Pootling about, cleaning, cooking, shopping, and have the occasional lunch with friends.  I know I still have one day a week to myself but I feel more obliged than ever to clean, or bake for school cake sales or make fancy dress costumes for the school disco, you get my drift.  I just need time to adjust.  I think that is the hardest thing to do after any length of time in a routine.  Adjust.  To an new job, to a new relationship, to having kids, to the end of a relationship, to sharing your bed again for the first time in over 18 months....and not even on a regular basis,  just on occasions! It all takes a little time, which I guess I have more of.

It's funny I have spent the last few years wishing the kids were older and at school, so that I could work and have a career again, yet now I'm here I feel so apprehensive it contradicts everything I thought I was ready for.  I have ended up feeling disjointed and unsure.  But I am sure that I want to provide for my own children, grey hairs or not!  I guess I have to feel the fear and do it any way!  Something that my Dad always used to say me, like when I was taking my driving test, which I failed twice before I really understood what my Dad was saying to me!

Anyway time is cruel.  It is swift and fleeting, yet sometimes can feel like a boggy marsh that you get stuck in.  The main thing is that I am not surprised by time. I understand its quick and slow,  its need to rush and trickle and then I know that time is not doing anything to me, that it's not doing to everyone else! Don't fight it too hard, embrace it and cherish it.  I know the older I get, the more I appreciate my life, my gifts and talents I have, my children, family, friends....you get what I am saying!  Actually a few grey hairs seem inconsequential now, who cares?  Ummmmm MEEEE!!!! I hope to never grow old gracefully and I hope that my kids forgive me for this now, as I am sure if they are anything like me that they will be young at heart forever. What a revelation I have had writing this post!

Anyway next time more shopping and some juicy gossip, I promise. (Like me and my new squeeze bumping into my ex!)

Happy Ageing

Samara